So I stumbled on a journal-thing I was forced to write in 4th grade, one of those "answer the question on the board every day" things, I think. It's full of stickers. And embarrassingly bad grammar, unreadable cursive and horrible spelling.
And surprising wisdom! Hello nine year old self, how weird are you?
Lemme toss some quotes at you, and I'll even leave in the spelling errors for authenticity.
"I wouldn't like to live to be 100 years old because I think life would be misrebale"
(Really, the orange smiley face next to it just makes it.)
"When I grow up I want to be a paleantologist because I think dinosaurs are cool."
(I wanted to be a paleontologist from kindergarten to like... seventh grade, not even kidding.)
"I don't like to watch or play any sport because I don't like sports."
"I think 20 years from now, I would be studying animals in the jungle."
(I've got ten years to make that happen, nine year old self... I'll try not to let you down!)
"If I could take a voyage to space I would hope to see aliens, spaceships, and all of the planets because I would want to have a big adventure in space."
(Yes, all was underlined. ALL of the planets! And I think I used some form of the word adventure at least five times in my entries.)
"The good thing about being able to fly is you could go wherever you wanted. The bad thing is if somebody saw you flying everybody would try to catch you to make money."
"If all the clocks in the world started going backwards nobody would know what time it was."
...Well, I can't argue with that logic!
"I am willing to save my money so I could get, "Street Jets" because they're shoes that can turn into skates."
Mini-me totally has her priorities straight. Roller-skate shoes, man!
"My resolution for 2002 is to keep my room clean."
Ah hah.. ah hah... haaaaah...
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Oh hey
College happened and I pretty much forgot about this thing. But now I need it as a public diary-type thing to talk about what I'm thinking about without (hopefully) my parents reading it. And maybe someone will see it and will give me advice or asspats or damn me to hell or something.
So, let's talk about atheism!
Stumble led me to some interesting sites about the topic and I nearly wrote an email to the guy who runs friendlyatheist.com, but I figured I don't have anything to say that he hasn't heard before.
Well, except for this. I've already come out to my family as a lesbian/bisexual/queer/non-straight thing. I'm very loud and opinionated about queer rights and my family knows, accepts and loves that about me.
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to tell my family that I am an atheist/agnostic/non-christian thing. And it's not because I think they'll hate me or won't accept me. I know they will. I just figure my mother has more important things to worry about than my immortal soul. And I pretty much don't have an excuse.
1. I was raised in a white, middle-class christian home. My dad was a pastor when I was growing up. We went to church every Sunday when I was a kid. And then he went into the military. Yeah, not only am I a PK, I'm a Military Brat. Being christian wasn't just the expectation, it was the only option.
2. My dad's proof that you can be christian AND gay, so I can't exactly use that excuse. (By the way, my dad's gay. This was a reason for my parent's divorce, but not the only reason.)
3. Almost all of my friends are christians and many of them are very devout about their beliefs, so I can't claim my peers showed me the heathen light.
How do I explain that I started doubting the religion I'd been born into when I was nine and my dad entered the military, leaving our family with the looming realization that we were going to move far away from everyone we knew? And how, the more I read into the Bible, the more discomfort I felt for it? (Seriously, there's some messed up crap in there. One thing that stuck out in my mind was that if a girl was raped and got pregnant, by God's law, she had to marry her rapist.)
Fortunately, I've been able to get out of going to church by saying that I don't have any friends there and I wouldn't go to the services anyway. Both of those facts are true, of course, but I can't say I'm not relieved that I don't have to go. My mom's accepted that I am an Easter/Christmas church-goer and now that I'm away at college for Easter, I don't even have to hold up the first half of that.
We're not at all a family of Bible-thumpers that refuse to see any logic or reason. I'm sure my mom and dad have all respect for people of different faiths, because they're just cool like that. I bet it'd be a mutual respect let's-not-discuss-it-at-the-dinner-table kinda thing if I did come out as atheist. But I still can't.
If I ever do, I'll let you know how it goes. I suspect my mom will say something along the lines of "I knew all along" because she's like that but you never know.
So, let's talk about atheism!
Stumble led me to some interesting sites about the topic and I nearly wrote an email to the guy who runs friendlyatheist.com, but I figured I don't have anything to say that he hasn't heard before.
Well, except for this. I've already come out to my family as a lesbian/bisexual/queer/non-straight thing. I'm very loud and opinionated about queer rights and my family knows, accepts and loves that about me.
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to tell my family that I am an atheist/agnostic/non-christian thing. And it's not because I think they'll hate me or won't accept me. I know they will. I just figure my mother has more important things to worry about than my immortal soul. And I pretty much don't have an excuse.
1. I was raised in a white, middle-class christian home. My dad was a pastor when I was growing up. We went to church every Sunday when I was a kid. And then he went into the military. Yeah, not only am I a PK, I'm a Military Brat. Being christian wasn't just the expectation, it was the only option.
2. My dad's proof that you can be christian AND gay, so I can't exactly use that excuse. (By the way, my dad's gay. This was a reason for my parent's divorce, but not the only reason.)
3. Almost all of my friends are christians and many of them are very devout about their beliefs, so I can't claim my peers showed me the heathen light.
How do I explain that I started doubting the religion I'd been born into when I was nine and my dad entered the military, leaving our family with the looming realization that we were going to move far away from everyone we knew? And how, the more I read into the Bible, the more discomfort I felt for it? (Seriously, there's some messed up crap in there. One thing that stuck out in my mind was that if a girl was raped and got pregnant, by God's law, she had to marry her rapist.)
Fortunately, I've been able to get out of going to church by saying that I don't have any friends there and I wouldn't go to the services anyway. Both of those facts are true, of course, but I can't say I'm not relieved that I don't have to go. My mom's accepted that I am an Easter/Christmas church-goer and now that I'm away at college for Easter, I don't even have to hold up the first half of that.
We're not at all a family of Bible-thumpers that refuse to see any logic or reason. I'm sure my mom and dad have all respect for people of different faiths, because they're just cool like that. I bet it'd be a mutual respect let's-not-discuss-it-at-the-dinner-table kinda thing if I did come out as atheist. But I still can't.
If I ever do, I'll let you know how it goes. I suspect my mom will say something along the lines of "I knew all along" because she's like that but you never know.
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